A huge age gap can lead to a troubled marriage if both of you hadn’t been ready to get married in the first place. Being ready for marriage isn’t necessarily proportional to age, but it is a factor. Barring that, there’s no reason why two persons with a huge age difference between them can’t have a happy marriage. In a marriage, age really is just a number and especially when you consider the tips below.
Learn to accept that some people won’t understand what you see in each other.
A man who is a decade older than a woman is usually nothing, but try reversing that and you’ll have people frowning. There are so many double standards that come with marriage, gender, and age that it would be quite impractical if you have to worry about them all when finding Mr. or Ms. Right. In the end, however, it’s whom you love and who loves you back that matters. People will always talk because of the huge age difference between you and your partner. You just have to live with such a fact. Getting into constant fights because of what other people would say wont’ do you or your marriage any good. Remember: these people aren’t the person you married. You and your partner didn’t do anything wrong either so there’s nothing to be guilty or stressed about.
Just be happy.
That’s all you need to work on. Don’t force yourselves to enjoy the same things at all times. It’s virtually impossible for you and your spouse to enjoy the same things considering your age difference. The two of you belong to different generations and as such, both of you may have different likes and dislikes. Even if you take factors such as income, religion, and culture out of the equation, there will still be things that you won’t be able to enjoy together. These are things that one of you may have just learned to appreciate while the other has already outgrown. A difference in your tastes, however, doesn’t mean that the two of you are incompatible. It simply means that you and your partner have different tastes. Think of it this way. Just because you love reading books while one of your friends hates them doesn’t mean the two of you won’t be able to enjoy a long-lasting friendship. It simply means that you can enjoy other things together but spend time apart when it comes to reading clubs and visiting bookstores. Besides, think of it this way. Having your own interests will make you more interesting to each other. It will give both of you something to talk about over dinner and before you sleep.
Know your priorities.
Assuming that you and your spouse have been prepared for the demands of your marriage then both of you need to be aware of what your priorities should be. A woman who is a lot older than her husband will no doubt be worried about her biological clock. It’s a fact that women have greater difficulties conceiving and giving birth as they age. As such, women who are already in their late thirties or even early forties have to attempt getting pregnant as soon as they get married. If you have married a woman who’s reached this stage, you should be aware of this need and understand where it’s coming from. If you marry someone older than you, be prepared to shoulder more responsibilities than someone in your age would normally be expected to handle. If you are in your twenties and you marry someone in his or her forties, expect to face the challenges of parenthood and know more about retirement plans sooner than you should have. But again, this is part and parcel of marrying someone who is a lot older or younger than you are. Appreciate the chance to learn from each other. There are always two sides to a coin and instead of concentrating on how much different the two of you are from each other, you need to focus more on how much you can learn from each other because of the different experiences you’ve gone through. An older partner can rediscover pleasures of youthful activities while a younger partner may learn how to be more mature and wiser for his or her years.
Take the time to explain.
More importantly, never assume that your partner can read your mind. In some ways, maybe your partner should have been able to understand what you’re going through without you saying a word. But in this case, it might have been the age difference that caused some lines to cross and prevented your partner from understanding you. But again, this doesn’t have to be a problem. You just need to make it a habit to explain whatever it is that’s bothering you. Don’t wait for your partner to guess what your problem is or why you’re feeling down or angry. Simply say what you mean and move on from there.
Accept that there will be physical differences as well.
Naturally, the younger partner would have more strength and vigor for lovemaking. Possibly, the older partner has reached the age in which sexual urges are not as strong and as frequent as before. But again, these things shouldn’t ruin your marriage. Rather, you should simply view it as a challenge. If one of you has a weak sex drive then you need to find out how to sexually stimulate your partner in new and exciting ways to keep your marriage sexually healthy. Sex comes in a variety of forms and ways and it’s critical that you do not allow inhibitions to hinder you from exploring new and unique options that have the potential of improving your marriage.
Take things one day at a time.
Marriage is never easy and especially so for couples with huge age differences. But if you take things one day at a time then your marriage will be able to last long and stay strong and happy.
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