Are Ejaculation Problems to Blame for Your Sexless Marriage?

There are times when ejaculation problems could pave an unwanted path to a sexless marriage. Some women feel that ejaculation problems are purely psychological and they find the condition deeply offensive. If you and your partner are going through the same problem, learn the cold and hard truth about ejaculation problems here and what you can do to solve your dilemma.

The Act of Ejaculation

Male ejaculation is the sexual act of releasing semen, which may have anything from low to high sperm count, from the reproduction tract. Male ejaculation often coincides with the person’s orgasm and is a critical requirement for natural reproduction. Males are not always conscious when they ejaculate. There are times when they also ejaculate during sleep or due to prostatic disease. For that matter, there are also males who suffer from anajeculation, which is a condition that renders an individual incapable of ejaculation.

The Types of Ejaculation Problems

There are primarily three types of ejaculation problems you or your husband may suffer from.

Premature Ejaculation

It is believed that young men with little control and experience in sexual activities are prone to premature ejaculation and there may be some truth in this. You’ll see this portrayed often enough in coming-of-age films and books that have mature content. But whether this is true or not has not still been conclusively proven. What has been proven is that one-third of American males believe that they are suffering from premature ejaculation and they wish to do something about it to heighten the pleasure they and their partners would derive from intercourse. This is based from a study made by Edward Laumann, PhD, of the National Health and Social Life Survey.

Delayed Ejaculation

Also known as retarded ejaculation, this is the next most common type of ejaculation problem and is what women may find offensive. Ejaculation, after all, is brought about by sexual stimulation and when you don’t find your partner sexually desirable then it’s probable to experience difficulties in ejaculating, much less reaching an orgasm. There are even cases in which men are only able to ejaculate by themselves. The good news, however, is that only a very small minority – approximately 3% of men – is suffering from this condition.

Retrograde Ejaculation

This is the rarest of all types and a condition in which the male, upon reaching an orgasm, has his sperm proceeding to his bladder rather than ejaculating from his penis as is normal. Semen contained in the bladder will be released later on through urination. Conditions that may cause disturbance to the sphincter muscle are the primary causes of retrograde ejaculation. This includes but is not limited to nerve damage, diabetes, use of certain medications, and even surgery. The good news about retrograde ejaculation is that only the manner in which you release semen is different. Everything else, and that definitely includes the sensations accompanying your orgasm, would remain the same. But it does have an apparent effect with fertility and that could be another problem you would have to deal with later on.

How to Solve Premature Ejaculation Problems

Your sexless marriage is not without solution. In fact, there are various ways to go about it and we can start with premature ejaculation problems. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a 2004 study by Chris G. McMahon, MD, which relayed how it’s possible for young men to experience a more controlled ejaculation after his initial release. Simply put, the first time is always the worst and second and subsequent times are certain to be better. Hence, you only have to worry about the first time you have intercourse with your spouse. If you believe your spouse would be unable to understand or accept that the first time could be a problem, there is always masturbation to lie back on (pun intended). If you and your spouse possess a more sexually adventurous nature, then it’s possible that the act of self-pleasure may even become sexually simulating and an integral part of foreplay. It is also believed that with increased frequency of masturbation, men will develop greater control - and yes, skills – in controlling their state of arousal and ejaculation.

Are There Other Things You Can Do to Solve Premature Ejaculation Problems?

If masturbation does not feel right to you, then there are other alternatives to consider. When having intercourse with your wife, you can focus first at helping her reach a state of near orgasm so that your premature ejaculation would coincide with her achieving sexual release. Consider taking a slower and more methodical approach to lovemaking as well. These may even win you some extra brownie points as not all men are able to be this considerate. Last but not the least, you can try taking medication. When research showed that certain antidepressants have an unintended side effect of delayed ejaculation, a number of pharmaceutical companies were quick to respond with medications that basically used the same formula but designed to primarily treat premature ejaculation this time. As these have not been yet approved by the FDA, you will have to consult your doctor about using them.

How to Solve Delayed Ejaculation Problems

Men who frequently masturbate may suffer from delayed ejaculation problems because they have trained themselves – albeit unconsciously – to respond only to a certain type of stimulation. If this is true in your case, you have two options: you could either tell your spouse how to help you achieve sexual release or you abstain from masturbation until your body adjusts. Sometimes, having sexual fantasies may also help you achieve a state of orgasm that would be more certain to coincide with your spouse’s sexual release.

Communication is the Key to Solving a Sexless Marriage

The best marriages often rely on open and honest communications for success. Whatever kind of ejaculation problem you’re going through, it will surely not be enough to push you and your partner apart as long as you speak with each other about it. If necessary, seek professional counseling or the intervention of a neutral party to help you and your partner view the issue in a more objective and constructive manner.