Depression – An Unwanted Third Party in Your Sexless Marriage

Depression is a silent, lethal killer of marriages. It is a poisonous condition that affects both new and old married couples without them being aware of it. If you are suffering from a sexless marriage, hold your suspicions at the moment. It may be depression---and not infidelity or a natural erosion of love---that is to blame.

More Women Affected by Depression

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 out of 3 persons are affected by depression and majority of them happens to be women. Unfortunately, merely two in every five persons have taken the necessary step of obtaining proper assistance to address their condition. Although various factors may be behind a person’s reason not to acknowledge their need for help, these are most likely caused by their fear of being labelled ‘mentally ill’.

Recognizing the Face of Depression

If depression is indeed the reason behind your sexless marriage then the first step for you to do is to establish its presence and determine if ione or both of you are suffering from this condition. It takes great courage for one to accept that he or she is depressed, but such acceptance may be the only way to resolve the issues troubling your marriage. Symptoms of depression include but are not limited to the following:

• Reduced or absence of interest in sex and other activities that were once considered pleasurable
• Reduced energy and ability to concentrate and make decisions
• Increased feelings of guilt, pessimism, and worthlessness
• Too much or too little sleep and/or appetite

A Gradual Breakdown of Your Marriage

Depression does not kill your marriage overnight but its effects may be permanent if the affected individual does not seek proper help. When a person feels depressed, he or she will do things that are out of character, things that are often negative and make the person feel unwanted and helpless. When his or her partner notices these changes, the unaffected spouse may first act considerate and attempt to make various compromises. But when the situation continues to worsen, even the most understanding of spouses will lose patience. This is primarily because both individuals are unaware they’re suffering from the consequences of depression. The depressed spouse no longer has interest in activities that were once a source of mutual pleasure, and this definitely includes sex. The unaffected spouse will consequently feel unappreciated and resentful. They will drift apart slowly until they won’t be able to pinpoint the exact time they’ve completely grown apart.

Turning Your Sexless Marriage Around

Depression comes in various forms and levels. Milder cases may be resolved with either therapy or medication. Patients suffering from chronic or severe depression, however, are advised to take a combination of both, as stated by a group of researchers from Stanford University. Their research was included in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology and participated by over 650 patients. Marriage sex need not remain a memory in your relationship. Take the courage to speak with your spouse and find out if depression could be the root of all your problems.