Just Because You’re Old Doesn’t Mean You Need to Suffer a Sexless Marriage

The romantic and sexual spark of your marriage can last for the rest of your life with a little bit of imagination, open communication, and lots of love. Contrary to public belief, a couple’s sex life doesn’t die when you hit the age of sixty or even seventy. For many creative couples, such dates are simply reminders that another kind of sexual adventure is called for.

Men, Age, and Sex

As a man advances on his years, there’s a proportional decline in his testosterone levels, which subsequently affect his sexual desires and functions. Such changes, however, should not be allowed to completely eliminate your sex life.

Lower Sexual Interest

Yes, believe it or not but your sex drive will not be as strong or as active as before. But it’s still there and if you want to keep your marriage as passionate as before then you need to be proactive. Don’t wait until something catches your sexual interest. Create situations that will lead to sexual desire and fulfillment.

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Increased Need for Stimulation

In the old days, you only had to glimpse your lady’s legs and you’d be raring to go. But nowadays, your beautiful wife could be standing naked before you and the sight of it could only be something you’d like to admire from a distance. This doesn’t mean that you love your woman any less, and it’s critical that you make your wife understand this. Such occurrences are simply a result of the changes that your body is experiencing because of your advancing age. If you and your wife dare to exchange stories about the sexual changes you’ve been experiencing lately, she’s sure to reveal similar incidents as well. In any case, an increased need for stimulation should be taken in a positive light. View it as a challenge or as an opportunity to do something a little bit different.

Shorter Orgasms

Your orgasms would not as last as long as they did before, but if you care more about your partner’s pleasure then that shouldn’t matter, should it? Besides, if this one doesn’t last as long as you like, you could always try for a second round? Your wife shouldn’t mind. There are, however, a few things you can do to prolong your orgasm and you don’t even need medication for it. It’s just a matter of practice, discipline, and control. For starters, you should concentrate more on stimulating your wife’s pleasure. That will make you a more wonderful lover in your wife’s eyes, but more than that, you are less likely to ejaculate prematurely or experience a short-lived orgasm. When you are about to climax, try for a more controlled flow or rhythm of your movement. This will help prolong your orgasm. It will not be as explosive as before, but it’s certain to last longer.

Longer Time to “Recuperate”

Expect intervals between sexual intercourse to be longer than usual. For that matter, semen ejaculation will not be as abundant or as forceful either, but you should not let this affect your ability to derive pleasure from making love with your wife. During such intervals, you can use the time with sexual foreplay or simply cuddle. Women love that and maybe, at your age, you’ll learn to be fond of it as well.

Women, Age, and Sex

Women, too, experience changes with their bodies as they grow old and such changes could likewise affect their sex lives. For starters, going through menopause could make them less inclined to have sex and could even make sexual intercourse painful. They also have a harder time than usual achieving a ‘wet’ state, which allows for easier, smoother, and more enjoyable penetration. But again, there are things that women can do to continue enjoying married sex even in their advanced years and without taking any type of treatment or medication.

Use lubricants.

It’s essential that your husband understands your need for additional lubrication doesn’t mean you desire him less. It’s simply a part of the natural process of life and must be taken as such and no more or less than that. There are various types of lubricants available today so make sure you use something that you are comfortable with and definitely not allergic to. Try using it in foreplay and your husband would be less threatened by it.

Use vibrators and other sex enhancement devices.

As you advance in years, you, too, could experience lower sex drives, which makes it even more difficult for you to achieve an orgasm. Again, this should not be considered as a result of your husband’s poor lovemaking abilities. Instead, you and your partner should use this as an opportunity to try new things such as sex enhancement devices. A vibrator, for instance, could be used to help stimulate your pleasure and ensure that you and your husband achieve an orgasm at the same time. If that has never happened before then maybe that’s one thing you could thank old age for. You can also use a vibrator to keep you sexually satisfied or even climax when your husband has climaxed first or is in need of time to recover from your last bout of sex. The sight of you pleasuring yourself may even serve to arouse your husband and make him ready for your next round more quickly than usual.

Communication is the Key to a Healthy Marriage

Communication – open, constant, and positive – will keep your married life not just sexually healthy but in all ways that count. Make an effort to communicate not just about necessary and practical matters but also to simply exchange words of affection. Take pleasure in saying words such as ‘I love you’ and ‘hello’. Communication prevents any misunderstanding and helps you to appreciate each other more inside and outside the bedroom. There will be times when it’s impossible to have sex for a variety of reasons, but even so, you will never fail to experience pleasure from your marriage because your constant communication strengthens and deepens the love and trust between you and your partner.

Huge Age Gaps Don’t Have to Result into a Trouble Marriage

A huge age gap can lead to a troubled marriage if both of you hadn’t been ready to get married in the first place. Being ready for marriage isn’t necessarily proportional to age, but it is a factor. Barring that, there’s no reason why two persons with a huge age difference between them can’t have a happy marriage. In a marriage, age really is just a number and especially when you consider the tips below.

Learn to accept that some people won’t understand what you see in each other.

A man who is a decade older than a woman is usually nothing, but try reversing that and you’ll have people frowning. There are so many double standards that come with marriage, gender, and age that it would be quite impractical if you have to worry about them all when finding Mr. or Ms. Right. In the end, however, it’s whom you love and who loves you back that matters. People will always talk because of the huge age difference between you and your partner. You just have to live with such a fact. Getting into constant fights because of what other people would say wont’ do you or your marriage any good. Remember: these people aren’t the person you married. You and your partner didn’t do anything wrong either so there’s nothing to be guilty or stressed about.

Just be happy.

That’s all you need to work on. Don’t force yourselves to enjoy the same things at all times. It’s virtually impossible for you and your spouse to enjoy the same things considering your age difference. The two of you belong to different generations and as such, both of you may have different likes and dislikes. Even if you take factors such as income, religion, and culture out of the equation, there will still be things that you won’t be able to enjoy together. These are things that one of you may have just learned to appreciate while the other has already outgrown. A difference in your tastes, however, doesn’t mean that the two of you are incompatible. It simply means that you and your partner have different tastes. Think of it this way. Just because you love reading books while one of your friends hates them doesn’t mean the two of you won’t be able to enjoy a long-lasting friendship. It simply means that you can enjoy other things together but spend time apart when it comes to reading clubs and visiting bookstores. Besides, think of it this way. Having your own interests will make you more interesting to each other. It will give both of you something to talk about over dinner and before you sleep.

Know your priorities.

Assuming that you and your spouse have been prepared for the demands of your marriage then both of you need to be aware of what your priorities should be. A woman who is a lot older than her husband will no doubt be worried about her biological clock. It’s a fact that women have greater difficulties conceiving and giving birth as they age. As such, women who are already in their late thirties or even early forties have to attempt getting pregnant as soon as they get married. If you have married a woman who’s reached this stage, you should be aware of this need and understand where it’s coming from. If you marry someone older than you, be prepared to shoulder more responsibilities than someone in your age would normally be expected to handle. If you are in your twenties and you marry someone in his or her forties, expect to face the challenges of parenthood and know more about retirement plans sooner than you should have. But again, this is part and parcel of marrying someone who is a lot older or younger than you are. Appreciate the chance to learn from each other. There are always two sides to a coin and instead of concentrating on how much different the two of you are from each other, you need to focus more on how much you can learn from each other because of the different experiences you’ve gone through. An older partner can rediscover pleasures of youthful activities while a younger partner may learn how to be more mature and wiser for his or her years.

Take the time to explain.

More importantly, never assume that your partner can read your mind. In some ways, maybe your partner should have been able to understand what you’re going through without you saying a word. But in this case, it might have been the age difference that caused some lines to cross and prevented your partner from understanding you. But again, this doesn’t have to be a problem. You just need to make it a habit to explain whatever it is that’s bothering you. Don’t wait for your partner to guess what your problem is or why you’re feeling down or angry. Simply say what you mean and move on from there.

Accept that there will be physical differences as well.

Naturally, the younger partner would have more strength and vigor for lovemaking. Possibly, the older partner has reached the age in which sexual urges are not as strong and as frequent as before. But again, these things shouldn’t ruin your marriage. Rather, you should simply view it as a challenge. If one of you has a weak sex drive then you need to find out how to sexually stimulate your partner in new and exciting ways to keep your marriage sexually healthy. Sex comes in a variety of forms and ways and it’s critical that you do not allow inhibitions to hinder you from exploring new and unique options that have the potential of improving your marriage.

Take things one day at a time.

Marriage is never easy and especially so for couples with huge age differences. But if you take things one day at a time then your marriage will be able to last long and stay strong and happy.

How to Make Marriages between Young People Last

As the word ‘young’ is entirely subjective, let us limit the age range to people of legal age to marry but no older than their early twenties. Basically, these individuals aren’t even at the peak of their lives and only a small percentage of them may have actually achieved their lifetime goals. In many ways, people at this age are not yet fully mature, emotionally and financially speaking, but have nonetheless entered into marriage. Still, this doesn’t have to be a recipe for disaster as long as both partners are committed to each other and making their relationship work.

Reasons for Marriage

Why did you decide to marry this early? Is it truly because you can’t live without each other? Is it due to an accidental pregnancy or a legal necessity, such as one partner being sent to work abroad and the only way you can accompany your partner is if you were married to him or her?

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There are many good reasons to marry. It’s hard to enumerate and categorize them. Bad reasons for marrying, however, are easier to distinguish. That you were forced to do so is one. That yours is an arranged marriage is another. Your past reason for marrying notwithstanding, are both of you willing to commit to your marriage right now? If so, you need to come up with a better reason for sticking to your marriage. Even if love is not present in one or both sides, there can still be a good reason to work hard for your marriage. Consider this: given a chance to meet your partner in a different set of circumstances, do you think it’s possible you’d fall in love with him or her? Can you envision living a long and happy life at your partner’s side? Can you envision a great future for both of you? If you answer ‘yes’ to even one of these questions then keep it in mind because you’ve now found your reason for committing to your marriage.

Realistic Expectations about Marriage

If older people who marry still end up having unrealistic expectations about marriage then what more if younger couples are involved? Unrealistic expectations are one of the greatest threats to any marriage and it’s best to get rid of them as soon as possible.

Time

Marriages need time to build. No matter how long you’ve been together prior to your marriage, having a relationship and living together are still worlds away from having an actual marriage. It’s not just about a mere slip of paper that changes your status. It’s a lot more than that. Marriages are institutions – legally and religion-wise – and they come with obligations for both partners. Both of you are responsible for helping each other for better or for worse. Marriage is a promise to care for each other throughout your lives and all these can only happen if you spend time together. Quality time is not just sleeping on the same bed every night. Most of the time, it’s those little moments that allow both of you to bond. If you can commit even to spending one or two nights – or afternoons if that’s what works best for both of you – a week with each other, doing things together, then that would be a great start.

Talk

Just talk. It’s when couples stop communicating that trouble starts brewing. So talk! Sure, discussing about your favorite movie or even the weather could constitute as small talk but you should also discuss your marriage once in a while. Talk about your hopes and fears of the future, what you want from your partner, and what you hope to contribute to the marriage.

Fights

There will always be the possibility that you and your partner would quarrel. It’s just as possible that you’d quarrel a lot and over the smallest of things. That’s only normal and you shouldn’t consider it as an indication of your marriage’s likelihood of survival. At this point, you and your partner are still adjusting to the idea of living together as man and wife and having to live up to the promises you’ve made to each other. If you think about everything that you’ve sworn to do in honor of your marriage, don’t you just feel a little bit burdened and anxious? And that’s perfectly normal! What you can do, however, is to unload your problems. Share them with your spouse and you may be surprised to know that it’s something your partner worries about as well. Consider it a good sign; people only worry when they care, after all.

Listen

At your age, you no doubt feel you know best because you’re the one who’s in the marriage. Certainly, that’s true in many ways, but would it really kill you if you just listen to what your respective parents have to say? Contrary to popular belief, taking advice does not equate to weakness or even ignorance. It’s the opposite. By taking advice, you are strong and mature enough to admit that you may be wrong or that you need help. Don’t be afraid to admit your fears to people you love and asking for their help. Get all the advice you need then use both your mind and heart in deciding how best to apply what you’ve learned to your marriage.

Have Fun

Last but not the least, don’t forget to have fun. You’ve no doubt heard the older and “wiser” ones advising both of you to start getting serious about your lives because you’re now married and perhaps about to start a family as well. Be that as it may, you shouldn’t think that having obligations mean you can’t ever have fun! Of course not! Marriages should be fun. They can’t survive if they’re not. So once in a while, take the time to have fun. Have fun with your family, friends, and partner. Needless to say, remember to do so in moderation. Having fun is one thing, but acting inappropriately (such as flirting like you were single) or blowing off your budget for a shopping spree is another.

Be Sexy in Your Husband’s Eyes – Tips on Getting Rid of Pregnancy Weight Gain

Dumping an unwanted lover, leaving a job you no longer like – all these are easier to do than eliminating weight you’ve gained during pregnancy. But like all these things, it’s something that you have to do and do so as early as possible or the consequences can only get bigger – figuratively and literally.

It’s a Gradual Process

The first thing you should understand about the weight gain process is that your body will do its part on getting rid of excess weight, but it’s going to do it at its own pace. It’s a gradual process and as such, you shouldn’t feel that there’s something wrong with your body because it’s taking too much time to lose the weight you’ve gained while carrying your baby. Your uterus, for instance, requires about a month to contract to the normal size. That’s four weeks for your uterus alone so how much time do you think you’d need to get rid of weight gain throughout your body? Studies show that mothers shed off approximately eight to twenty pounds during the first two weeks following childbirth, but of course it could be a lot less depending on numerous factors. Also, the initial weight loss you’d experience can only be attributed to the extra fluid you’ve gained. It’s not body fat, unfortunately, as that’s more difficult to get rid of.

Losing Weight Step by Step

Seeing photos of your pre-pregnancy body or seeing all those sexy women sashaying in front you could make you yearn to lose weight as quickly and possible and take whatever risk is needed. Hurrying, however, is ill advised as this could endanger your health in various ways. The best way to lose pregnancy weight is by taking things one at a time. Do things step by step instead of jumping from Point 1 to Point 10.

Get Clearance from Your Physician

Eat Well and Lose Weight! Your body is still healing from the changes it had undergone during pregnancy and childbirth and as such, it’s in a very vulnerable position. The wrong diet or exercise could backfire and cause you greater obstacles to weight loss. However you plan to lose the weight you’ve gained, make sure you inform your doctor about it. She’ll let you know if your body can handle the diet and exercise plan you’re about to take on. And needless to say, do follow the advice given to you.

Breastfeeding Helps in Weight Loss

Breastfeeding is good for the baby because the natural milk that a woman’s body produces has more nutrients and greater health benefits to offer to your newborn. But mothers, too, can benefit from this activity as breastfeeding requires your body to burn about 500 calories each day. That’s equivalent to approximately an hour working hard on the treadmill but now, all you have to do is to feed your baby. Of course, breastfeeding won’t be as effective if you combine it with an excessively demanding exercise and diet regime. Breastfeeding burns calories but it would end up zapping your energy if you don’t have enough calories to burn. Also, insufficient calorie level would reduce the quantity of milk you can produce as well as increase its toxin level, neither of which is good for your little one. This is not to say you have to stay away from exercise and diet completely. You can still do both together with breastfeeding but you must do so in moderation.

Top Obstacles to Losing Pregnancy Weight Gain

Knowing the obstacles you’re sure to face would make it easier for you to prepare and attain your objectives.

Low Energy Levels

It’s natural to feel low on energy during and after pregnancy. As mentioned earlier on, your body is still at its healing stage and that the silent and internal healing it undergoes is consuming your energy. But you have to do what you can to rebuild your energy, enough to at least finish your workout. Of course, you must not push yourself too much. Remember: you still need to maintain enough energy to look after your child and do everything else that requires your time and attention for the rest of the day.

Scheduling

Some children do not maintain a regular timetable. They demand to be fed whenever they feel like it and they have a habit of waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. But it’s not as if you can reason with them and thus, your body’s internal clock will have to adjust to theirs. Because of that, it’s going to be more difficult than usual to maintain your exercise schedule. Again, you have to make do with what you have. You need to find time each day or week to complete the hours you’ve determined necessary for your workout. Do your best not to miss more than a single workout every month. If you allow yourself to rationalize, it could become a habit and you’ll never lose weight then.

Mood Swings

External things aren’t the only ones you’ll have to worry about. There are also things inside you – such as your mood – that could get in the way of weight loss. Again, mood swings are but a natural part of motherhood and is especially common with first-time mothers and a symptom of those suffering from postpartum depression. While there are certainly medications and treatments available for mood swings, it’s your ability to get over them that’s still the best cure. You need to find a way to help yourself, and it starts with admitting that there’s a problem and what needs to be done to get rid of it.

Guilt

Many mothers initially feel guilty about devoting too much time exercising, thinking that it’s a sign of irresponsibility and that they should spend more time working and caring for their spouses and families. But actually, it’s the opposite. Exercising isn’t just about having a good figure. It’s also about having great health: a healthier mom can do so much more than a weaker one, after all. As you can see, losing weight gain requires more than time and effort. It also requires determination and strength, but think of it this way: if it’s one of the prices you have to pay to maintain your self-esteem and feel good about resuming marriage intimacy then do it!

Effect of some drugs on sexual function

Over the last century, medicine industry revolved dramatically giving a lot of sick people a chance of healthier longer life. For humankind, medicine was a just like magic which remind me of this old quote” with great powers come responsibilities”.

Unfortunally, a lot of people didn’t have the appropriate responsibilities to deal with that magical power, and then drug over prescription occurs and drug abuse occurs. You will shock when you know that 20 percent of the American takes unnecessary prescribed drug for unjustified medical reasons or non medical reasons at all. Especially narcotic painkillers, sedative, tranquilizers, stimulants and what they thought as aphrodisiacs. So don’t do that, and I will explain later in this blog about those medicines and why I tell you don’t do that.

Prescribed drug as I said before are a magical tool, changed a lot of people lives, and usually your doctor is concerned about the side effect of the drugs that may affect your health but some physicians don’t consider your healthy sex life as a health issue.

So you need to bring it up to him/her. I will tell you about some drugs that may affect your sexual performance. If you take them you need to discuss your doctor about it, asking about how this drug will affect your sex life and how to avoid such unpleasant effect and if it is possible to have another drug don’t have the same side effect.

Effect of hormone on sexual function:

Androgens in men are responsible for the secondary sexual character, baseline libido and potency. But further administration of androgen doesn’t increase libido or potency in men with normal endogenous testosterone levels. And this is a common mistake done by young adults. Actually chronic administration of exogenous testosterone inhibits the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis in men causing testicular atrophy. Androgen administration in women cause increase libido with other virilization symptoms (hirsutism, acne and clitoral hypertrophy).if androgen is used by pregnant woman virilization of female fetus may occur.

Estrogens: men administrating estrogen ( for prostatic conditions) suffer from decreased libido, impotence and impairment of ejaculation. Also gynecomastia is a common side effect. Anti androgens: as their name describes, they decrease androgens serum level and decrease both libido and potency. Corticosteroids: prolonged use of high dosage corticosteroids affects the hypothalamic pituitary gonadal axis. Also it decreases testosterone level in adult men. Corticosteroids also have many side effects affect general health such as hyperglycemia, diabetes mellitus and depression and all of them affect sexual functions.

Effect of tranquilizers, sedatives and hypnotics on sexual function:

Meprobamate: affect the nervous sexual function by affecting the limbic system in the brain. Chlordiazepoxide and Diazepam: impotence may occur in high doses. Barbiturates and Methoaqualone: sometimes they decrease sexual inhibitions and improve sexual function. But more commonly adverse sexual effects is reported (decrease libido and potency)

Effect of some psychiatric drugs on sexual function:

Phenothiazines and chlorpromazine (doses 400 mg/day or more): In women they block ovulation causing menstruation irregularities and vaginal drying. In men they may cause gynecomastia, decreased testicular size and impotence. Haloperidol: In low doses it increases testosterone production in men but in higher doses it causes impotence in men and menstruation irregularities. Monoamine oxidase inhibitors: They affect the autonomic nervous system cuasing delayed ejaculation and impotence. The side effect is dose related. Lithium carbonate: It have variable wide side effect on human sexuality from hypersexuality in some individuals to hyposexuality in some individuals.

Effect of common prescribed drugs of sexual function:

Anti cholinergic drugs: They are prescribed for some gastrointestinal conditions like peptic ulcer and irritable colon syndrome. They cause inhibition of the parasympathetic system affecting the vasocongestive reflex in the penis. Impotence is a common side effect. Also in women they cause vaginal drying and cause sexual penetration difficulties

Cimetidine: It decreases the stomach acidity and used to treat gastritis and peptic ulcers. It increase estrogen levels causing impotence and gynecomastia in men and galactorrhea women.

Clofibrate: It used to decrease serum cholesterol and other lipids. It decreases libido and potency as well. Antihistamines: They decrease libido in both men and women. Also women suffer from remarkable vaginal drying. Finally it is important to count the benefits and the risks before agreeing to administrate any drug. Some people may think that the health benefit of the drug is overcome the loss of the sexual function I would like to ask them what is the point in prolonging someone life without giving him/her the satisfaction to go through this life?

Depression – An Unwanted Third Party in Your Sexless Marriage

Depression is a silent, lethal killer of marriages. It is a poisonous condition that affects both new and old married couples without them being aware of it. If you are suffering from a sexless marriage, hold your suspicions at the moment. It may be depression---and not infidelity or a natural erosion of love---that is to blame.

More Women Affected by Depression

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 out of 3 persons are affected by depression and majority of them happens to be women. Unfortunately, merely two in every five persons have taken the necessary step of obtaining proper assistance to address their condition. Although various factors may be behind a person’s reason not to acknowledge their need for help, these are most likely caused by their fear of being labelled ‘mentally ill’.

Recognizing the Face of Depression

If depression is indeed the reason behind your sexless marriage then the first step for you to do is to establish its presence and determine if ione or both of you are suffering from this condition. It takes great courage for one to accept that he or she is depressed, but such acceptance may be the only way to resolve the issues troubling your marriage. Symptoms of depression include but are not limited to the following:

• Reduced or absence of interest in sex and other activities that were once considered pleasurable
• Reduced energy and ability to concentrate and make decisions
• Increased feelings of guilt, pessimism, and worthlessness
• Too much or too little sleep and/or appetite

A Gradual Breakdown of Your Marriage

Depression does not kill your marriage overnight but its effects may be permanent if the affected individual does not seek proper help. When a person feels depressed, he or she will do things that are out of character, things that are often negative and make the person feel unwanted and helpless. When his or her partner notices these changes, the unaffected spouse may first act considerate and attempt to make various compromises. But when the situation continues to worsen, even the most understanding of spouses will lose patience. This is primarily because both individuals are unaware they’re suffering from the consequences of depression. The depressed spouse no longer has interest in activities that were once a source of mutual pleasure, and this definitely includes sex. The unaffected spouse will consequently feel unappreciated and resentful. They will drift apart slowly until they won’t be able to pinpoint the exact time they’ve completely grown apart.

Turning Your Sexless Marriage Around

Depression comes in various forms and levels. Milder cases may be resolved with either therapy or medication. Patients suffering from chronic or severe depression, however, are advised to take a combination of both, as stated by a group of researchers from Stanford University. Their research was included in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology and participated by over 650 patients. Marriage sex need not remain a memory in your relationship. Take the courage to speak with your spouse and find out if depression could be the root of all your problems.

The Curable Link between Female Sexual Dysfunction and Sexless Marriages

Can my condition be cured? Am I at fault? Will I still be able to save my marriage? All these questions may be troubling your mind if you believe you are suffering from female sexual dysfunction (FSD) and your condition has contributed to the currently sexless state of your marriage. The good news here, however, is that your condition can be treated and you still have a chance to overcome the obstacles in your marriage.

What is Female Sexual Dysfunction?

The broadest definition for female sexual dysfunction would be any recurring problem that hampers your ability to respond sexually. The Mayo Foundation estimates four out of ten females are suffering from FSD. It can affect women at any age, but studies show that those afflicted by this condition are often undergoing hormonal changes which are brought about by pregnancy, menopause, and other similar circumstances.

FSD can be broken down into several sub-types.

• Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder – frequent lack or loss of interest in sexual activities
• Sexual Aversion Disorder – chronic---almost phobic---avoidance of sexual contact with your partner
• Sexual Arousal Disorder – incapacity to respond positively to a sexual stimulus
• Orgasmic Disorder – severe inability to achieve sexual release following adequate arousal
• Dyspareunia – distressful pain during sexual intercourse
• Vaginismus – involuntary spasms of the vagina that prevent penetration
• Noncoital Sexual Pain – Foreplay or stimulation leading to genital discomfort or pain
• Cure Female Sexual Dysfunction to Transform Your Sexless Marriage

Here are several steps you should take to leave your days of suffering from a sexless marriage permanently behind you. Be sure you are suffering from FSD. A 1999 study shows that approximately 43% of the female population may be suffering from FSD and affected individuals are likely to have also suffered from mental or physical problems, economic or social setbacks, relationship dissatisfaction and are of lower educational background. In any case, you need to completely ascertain that it is FSD causing you marital trouble. Common symptoms include but aren’t limited to any or a combination of occurrences as defined by the subtypes mentioned above.

Determine the cause.

If you are indeed suffering from FSD then you need to know why. Is the cause physical? Neurological disorders, urinary difficulties, and even medications could have FSD as a side effect or symptom. Then again, FSD may just be a symptom of your hormonal imbalance. In this case, you may rejoice because as soon as your hormone levels come back to normal then it’s very likely your FSD will also be gone for good. If neither of these causes seemed applicable then perhaps your condition is rooted in certain psychological or external factors? Financial worries can be the most potent way of killing sexual desire. Relationship woes are also effective in destroying one’s interest in sex.

Be proactive in curing your condition.

Only when you’ve fully accepted your condition can you then seek the proper treatment for FSD and ensure that it works. Medications are a good start. Consult your doctor for advice. Sex therapy is also an excellent option. There are things that you’ll find it easier to discuss with an outsider at first, things that would become clearer for you when someone outside your marriage would explain them. But the most important of all is to be completely honest with your partner and working with him to treat your condition. Even though you alone are suffering from FSD, you and your partner still need to help each other in treating it if you wish to finally transform your sexless marriage into what it was before.

Are Ejaculation Problems to Blame for Your Sexless Marriage?

There are times when ejaculation problems could pave an unwanted path to a sexless marriage. Some women feel that ejaculation problems are purely psychological and they find the condition deeply offensive. If you and your partner are going through the same problem, learn the cold and hard truth about ejaculation problems here and what you can do to solve your dilemma.

The Act of Ejaculation

Male ejaculation is the sexual act of releasing semen, which may have anything from low to high sperm count, from the reproduction tract. Male ejaculation often coincides with the person’s orgasm and is a critical requirement for natural reproduction. Males are not always conscious when they ejaculate. There are times when they also ejaculate during sleep or due to prostatic disease. For that matter, there are also males who suffer from anajeculation, which is a condition that renders an individual incapable of ejaculation.

The Types of Ejaculation Problems

There are primarily three types of ejaculation problems you or your husband may suffer from.

Premature Ejaculation

It is believed that young men with little control and experience in sexual activities are prone to premature ejaculation and there may be some truth in this. You’ll see this portrayed often enough in coming-of-age films and books that have mature content. But whether this is true or not has not still been conclusively proven. What has been proven is that one-third of American males believe that they are suffering from premature ejaculation and they wish to do something about it to heighten the pleasure they and their partners would derive from intercourse. This is based from a study made by Edward Laumann, PhD, of the National Health and Social Life Survey.

Delayed Ejaculation

Also known as retarded ejaculation, this is the next most common type of ejaculation problem and is what women may find offensive. Ejaculation, after all, is brought about by sexual stimulation and when you don’t find your partner sexually desirable then it’s probable to experience difficulties in ejaculating, much less reaching an orgasm. There are even cases in which men are only able to ejaculate by themselves. The good news, however, is that only a very small minority – approximately 3% of men – is suffering from this condition.

Retrograde Ejaculation

This is the rarest of all types and a condition in which the male, upon reaching an orgasm, has his sperm proceeding to his bladder rather than ejaculating from his penis as is normal. Semen contained in the bladder will be released later on through urination. Conditions that may cause disturbance to the sphincter muscle are the primary causes of retrograde ejaculation. This includes but is not limited to nerve damage, diabetes, use of certain medications, and even surgery. The good news about retrograde ejaculation is that only the manner in which you release semen is different. Everything else, and that definitely includes the sensations accompanying your orgasm, would remain the same. But it does have an apparent effect with fertility and that could be another problem you would have to deal with later on.

How to Solve Premature Ejaculation Problems

Your sexless marriage is not without solution. In fact, there are various ways to go about it and we can start with premature ejaculation problems. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a 2004 study by Chris G. McMahon, MD, which relayed how it’s possible for young men to experience a more controlled ejaculation after his initial release. Simply put, the first time is always the worst and second and subsequent times are certain to be better. Hence, you only have to worry about the first time you have intercourse with your spouse. If you believe your spouse would be unable to understand or accept that the first time could be a problem, there is always masturbation to lie back on (pun intended). If you and your spouse possess a more sexually adventurous nature, then it’s possible that the act of self-pleasure may even become sexually simulating and an integral part of foreplay. It is also believed that with increased frequency of masturbation, men will develop greater control - and yes, skills – in controlling their state of arousal and ejaculation.

Are There Other Things You Can Do to Solve Premature Ejaculation Problems?

If masturbation does not feel right to you, then there are other alternatives to consider. When having intercourse with your wife, you can focus first at helping her reach a state of near orgasm so that your premature ejaculation would coincide with her achieving sexual release. Consider taking a slower and more methodical approach to lovemaking as well. These may even win you some extra brownie points as not all men are able to be this considerate. Last but not the least, you can try taking medication. When research showed that certain antidepressants have an unintended side effect of delayed ejaculation, a number of pharmaceutical companies were quick to respond with medications that basically used the same formula but designed to primarily treat premature ejaculation this time. As these have not been yet approved by the FDA, you will have to consult your doctor about using them.

How to Solve Delayed Ejaculation Problems

Men who frequently masturbate may suffer from delayed ejaculation problems because they have trained themselves – albeit unconsciously – to respond only to a certain type of stimulation. If this is true in your case, you have two options: you could either tell your spouse how to help you achieve sexual release or you abstain from masturbation until your body adjusts. Sometimes, having sexual fantasies may also help you achieve a state of orgasm that would be more certain to coincide with your spouse’s sexual release.

Communication is the Key to Solving a Sexless Marriage

The best marriages often rely on open and honest communications for success. Whatever kind of ejaculation problem you’re going through, it will surely not be enough to push you and your partner apart as long as you speak with each other about it. If necessary, seek professional counseling or the intervention of a neutral party to help you and your partner view the issue in a more objective and constructive manner.